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Help Handling The Stress Of Foreclosure

You Can Overcome the Stress Of Foreclosure

Facing any financial problem means dealing with considerable stress. Dealing with the stress of foreclosure brings a number of different stressors because it relates to your home.

Its important to remember that this situation is a moment in time. It will not last forever. Neither does it define you or your family. You are valuable and can have a good future. You just need to keep the situations you face in prespective and take careful steps to improve your situation. There are always options. There are always solutions.

Many people deal with the stress of foreclosure every day. If you use some effective tools and deal with your situation thoughtfully and proactively you can overcome the stress of foreclosure and make your way through the process no matter the outcome and move right into a good future.

De-Stress Tip 1: Determine What You Can/Can’t Control

In any difficult or stressful situation, there are aspects that you can control, and aspects that you cannot. In terms of foreclosure scenarios, this dichotomy of control looks something like this:

Things You Cannot Control:

That your lender has initiated foreclosure proceedings (legally or illegally)

Any unhelpful or rude demeanor your bank’s representatives have

That you may not immediately be able to increase your cash flow

How aggressive/eager to foreclose your lender is compared to other lenders

Family or friends’ impressions and opinions about your foreclosure situation

Things You Can Control:

Proactively choosing to fight your foreclosure through litigation

Using the court system to shed a light on any illegal activities committed by your lender

Resolving not to dwell unnecessarily on emotions like anger

Making a decision about your goals regarding the property (fight to keep, or shed the property in the most advantageous way)

By fixating on the elements of your foreclosure situation you cannot control, you only serve to increase your anxiety and level of stress. Focus instead on what you can control and your ability to determine the best course of action moving forward, given the circumstances you have been dealt.

De-Stress Tip 2: Consult With A Qualified Attorney

This one might seem counter-intuitive, but it’s true. Instead of allowing your imagination to run wild with worst-case scenarios and things that your friend’s cousin who is a law clerk told you about foreclosure, get the facts from a qualified attorney. At least then you will have a clearer understanding of the details relating to your unique foreclosure situation.

Oftentimes, the reality of your options will be a lot better than you expected — and even if your prognosis isn’t so good, at least you will have removed uncertainty from the equation.
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Steps to Help You Deal With Emotional Stress of Foreclosure

Here are some steps that can help you deal with the emotional stress related to foreclosure. Our emotions often are not reliable when it comes to telling us the truth about a situation. All people experience negative emotions that tell them situations are their fault or are much more devastating than they have to be.

Starting with these techniques you can get your emotions to come under your control so you can deal with the reality of the situation and not add any extra upset to your day. Any situation can be worked through to a successful end if you know the right steps to take. Take a look.

First and foremost—FORGIVE yourself.

Conduct an actual Forgiveness Ceremony with your closest friends and family members. Write down your and your family’s positive attributes and read them out loud to everyone. Then add that you forgive yourself, your partner, life, fate and, if you believe in any kind of Supreme Being or Power, forgive him too. Remind yourself that very few of the wisest pundits foresaw this economic problem so how would you expect yourself to have seen into the future? If you don’t forgive yourself, you will remain immobilized, which is the real foe.

Get your brain and emotions into what I call “Disaster Management World-View.”

Make a list of your positive characteristics and skills. Make another list of the things for which you are still grateful. When you watch disaster survivors on television, you see someone standing in front of the remains of their homes. There is usually nothing left but rubble and an upturned bath tub. You also hear most of the survivors saying things like “Well, at least we have each other.” Or, “We’re alive and that’s what counts.” Get a perspective. People do recover. They might have to move, live with less and readjust their dreams, but they can do more than survive—they can also thrive. Crises have a way of challenging us to break out of our routine  behaviors  and to be our best selves.

Remember what I call the “Three P’s” of gaining control of bad situations.


DO something. Talk to someone. Devise a new plan instead of relying on your old behavior. Re-using the ” same old, same old” techniques that haven’t worked will make you feel helpless, anxious, angry and depressed. The best cure for those ills is taking the reins and devising an action plan.


Contact your lenders, bank, credit unions, and credit card companies. Don’t take the first set of “no’s.”


Don’t waste your time talking to the low person on the totem pole. Go to the top of the food chain as far up as possible. Identify who can make a decision.

If you took the first step—Pro-action—then you will have come up with a new payment plan, an explanation of what you are doing now to cut back on expenses or any other actions that might convince a lender or creditor as to why YOU are someone they should help.
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Have you found a trained person to help you deal with your foreclosure?

One Response so far.

  1. I agree that it is much better to focus on what you can do in a foreclosure situation than what you can’t do. Anytime you focus on things outside of your control, you will get stressed. It is as simple as that. Better to focus your energy where it can do you some good. If nothing else, you will sleep better knowing you did everything you could to keep you house.

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